Today’s topic is something out of the pages of my life. It’s the year 2020, and while the society is somewhat accepting or starting to accept things like love is genderless, plus sizes are acceptable and gender equality, etc, the one thing which makes them feel uncomfortable still is mental health.
So today in my words, let me tell you how it feels to walk the streets full of crowd and still find yourself alone. First, let me educate you a bit about a few technicalities.
Depression and sadness are two different things
When serotonin levels in the body get low, it impacts the mood leading to depression.
It’s neither a phase nor a mind game.
It's OKAY to talk about mental health out loud, there is nothing to whisper.
Taking medical help is OKAY.
Mental illness CAN take lives.
Having depression doesn’t make the person a pessimist.
I remember, once it was a very rough day and I was not in my good mood. My friend suggested going to a house party. It was the weekend and I thought that maybe it will help me not to enter the clinical depression mode. We got ready, wore our nice outfits, and went to the party. Things were going smoothly and then suddenly one small incident triggered a ripple in my mind. I went to the restroom to get fresh, and that’s when it happened. The world started to spin and black dots appeared in front of my eyes. My legs were shaking so much that I couldn’t stand; I sat on the floor and held the wall tightly. I understood that my breathing has got heavy and my heart rate is pacing up. After 10 minutes it started to soothe. Somehow I stood up and came out of the restroom, people were busy with their gossips, so I went to the living room for some fresh air. And then the second panic attack struck. I was seating on the couch and I couldn’t call anyone. Miraculously, the owner’s dog understood what’s happening. He came running and started biting my hand, that pain kept me from going unconscious, and I revived myself around 30 minutes later.
The reason is shared this with you guys is not because I want sympathy but I want you to understand what we go through. The thing I never understood is, why is there so much negativity about mental illness. This is just like any physical illness. This does get diagnosed and medicines are prescribed when needed. Even I have taken therapy and today I have no fear of telling people, doesn’t matter if I get judged or not.
Things that I have heard when I have tried discussing my mental health with people-
Its nothing like that, you are just imagining things.
These are rich peoples’ diseases.
I am feeling sad today, I think your depression is contiguous.
Be happy, everything will be fine.
Don’t take medicines, they make you go crazy.
Are you crazy?
We are not crazy people; our brain just works in a bit complicated way. We face these demons every day, we fight them and keep them in their place. But in some days they overpower us, and in those days while few people give up hope others decide to stick to their life and continue fighting.
Things that helped me face my demons-
Proper diagnosis and medicine.
Meditation.
Music
Working for rescue animals.
Reading books.
Talking to friends and family.
Accepting my flaws and loving myself the most.
Let me tell you guys something, take it from someone who has attempted suicide before; life is a very real thing. There are ups and there are downs, but it is the flaws that make life so beautiful. I know how it feels to reach the end of the cliff. But I want you to return back and think again, not for anyone else but this time JUST FOR YOURSELF.
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